Disco Fever

Just a little video from the good old days.

Squirrels

There has been no sign of the mice for a couple of weeks now. King Jake has claimed victory after a campaign in which he successfully captured and deported 10 of the rascally rodents. It is more than likely though that the mice are just taking a spring holiday somewhere. Since the mice are nowhere to be seen, one could assume that everything is peaceful in the Kingdom of Pohick. One could assume that, but one would be mistaken. There is to be no peace for King Jake.

Apparently the mice had a little chat with their friends the squirrels prior to departing for wherever mice go on holiday. Almost as soon as the mice activity subsided, the squirrels took over the role as Jake's tormentors. It is quite apparent that the squirrels have a little more game than the mice had. Their escapades started off innocently enough with a little digging in the flower beds. Jake didn't appreciate the squirrels digging up all of Princess StarrySpark's hard work, but there was no real harm done. This period of mild annoyance wouldn't last though.

Next the squirrels upped their game a little bit. They chewed holes in the lids of all of the garbage cans so that they could go in and eat the trash. This is amazing given that King Jake does not let much edible food end up in the trash. The squirrels were not content to just eat their ill gotten meals in peace though, but they began to scatter the trash all over the yard. Hmmmm... One day, as Jake was walking across the yard, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich fell out of the sky and landed at his feet. Jake has always dreamed of food falling from the sky, but alas, this was not a case divine food delivery. Jake looked up into the trees just in time to see a squirrel running away.

This is about the time that Jake's blood began to boil. After three or four days of picking up trash around the yard and he was fit to be tied. Jake being Jake then began to lash out at the squirrels. He waited until the squirrels dropped through the holes in the tops of the garbage cans and then ran over and began banging on the sides of the cans with a broom. When the squirrels attempted to escape, Jake would whack the squirrels back down into the cans just like the "Whack a Mole" game. What did this solve you ask? Nothing of course, but it made Jake laugh like a raving lunatic. It was apparent to all onlookers that the squirrels did not appreciate this particular form of amusement very much.

The squirrels next hatched a diabolical plan to get even with Jake. They chewed a hole through the screen in the kitchen, came in and helped themselves to a brand new loaf of bread. Jake was upstairs when he heard a scream from Queen Molly. Thinking that another mouse incident was in progress, he ran down to the kitchen ready to do battle. By the time he got there, Molly was wildly swinging a broom around the kitchen like a Louisville Slugger in an attempt to bash the offending squirrel. The squirrel was in no real danger as he deftly evaded all of Molly's swings. He eventually made his way back to the hole in the screen leaving a swath of destruction in the once pristine kitchen.

Jake replaced the screen. Then he replaced the plastic trash cans with metal ones. Patting himself on the back, he stated that once again, good old fashioned human ingenuity had overcome the mischievousness of the animal kingdom. He was quite mistaken.

Jake and Molly had a number of friends and family over for a formal sit down dinner. At some point during the meal, one of the guests pointed at a window in the dining room and stated, "Look at that squirrel hanging on the window screen. Isn't that cute?" It was at this moment that the squirrel while hanging from the screen emptied his bladder through the screen into the dining room. The stream from the squirrel was quite impressive. One wouldn't think a squirrel could hold quite that much. The guests were of course just a bit shocked. One doesn't expect that sort of entertainment at a formal dinner party. Queen Molly on the other hand was not just shocked, but was also enraged at this squirrel who would dare defile her dinner party. She launched herself from the other side of the room and punched the squirrel through the screen with all of her might. I'm sure the squirrel was not expecting this reaction. He laid in the yard for a long moment after landing. Jake stated for everyone to hear that the squirrel was probably dead. This was not the case though. After a moment or two, the squirrel shook his head a few times to clear the cobwebs and then ran off as if nothing had happened.

One can only imagine the grand reception this squirrel received upon his return to squirrel ville. We imagine that all of the other squirrels patted him on the back and high-fived him for his exceptional intestinal fortitude and ability to take a punch. Jake and Molly are now worried about what the squirrels will try next. That last act is mighty tough to follow. Though Jake and Molly did not appreciate the mice, they are thinking of inviting them back if they will call off their squirrel cousins.

Mouse War - King Gone Mad

Why is one of the royal living room recliners on the front porch? Why is King Jake holding a big stick in one hand and a flaming mitt in the other? This is the spectacle to which Queen Molly returned this afternoon. Would you like to hazard a guess as to what circuitous chain of events created this particular diorama? Truth is of course stranger than fiction and apparently King Jake went slightly insane today.
The mice are back you see. Jake dutifully dusted off the Victor Live Catch Mouse Traps, Baited them with a fine selection of peanut butter and crackers and set them out for some of the unsuspecting mouse marauders. Low and behold a mouse was caught (Number 7 by last count). Well, since Jake was off defending the Kingdom, Queen Molly decided to remove the mouse from the trap and place him in the mouse holding facility. Hurrah for the brave Queen Molly! Queen Molly then departed for an afternoon of instructing the young ladies of the kingdom in the fine art of basket weaving or some such.
Jake upon returning to the castle noticed the mouse and for some unknown reason decided it would be fun to poke and prod the mouse just a little. The mouse was not especially amused with this activity and took the opportunity to run up Jake's arm and scampered onto the kitchen counter. Thus began a tale of woe and misery.
Jake looked at the mouse and the mouse looked at Jake in the beady way that only a mouse can look at someone. Jake then began to mutter "Rut Row" and became fixated on the fact that he was probably going to be in a small bind with Queen Molly who left specific instructions not to touch the mouse other than march him far from the house and release him. Jake then began to beg the mouse to get back into the jar before Queen Molly returned. Unfortunately, the mouse did not consider this course of action to be in his best interest, so he politely but firmly declined. Jake then decided that brute force was his next best option and began chasing the mouse madly throughout the house leaving a swath of destruction in his wake. On several occasions, Jake thought he had the mouse cornered, but he learned that the mouse probably had at least a little Kangaroo blood in him as he had an impressive vertical leap.
Getting nowhere, Jake decided that he was outclassed and the clock was ticking ever closer marking the time of Queen Molly's return. Jake summoned Princess StarrySpark who inquired, "Why did you let the mouse loose? Didn't mother say to leave it alone?" Oh the anguish of it all. "Yes she did. Please help me catch it and quickly." With StarrySpark's assistance, Jake managed to corner the mouse under a recliner in the living room. Wait, where did he go? Mr. Mouse had climbed up into the hollow arm of the chair and was spread eagle across the top, looking like some ninja character from a kungfoo movie. But how to get him back in the jar. That's when the inspiration hit Jake. "We don't have to get him in the Jar. We just have to get him out of the house before Molly returns." They quickly grabbed the chair and ran to the front porch. At last, victory..... Just at this moment the fire alarm went off. Apparently, during the ruckus, Jake had knocked an oven mitt onto the stove which chose this moment to burst into flames. Jake grabbed the mitt dashed to the porch and was preparing to extinguish the burning mitt when of course what to his wondering eyes should appear? Queen Molly selected this moment to pull up in the driveway. She just starred at the smoke poring out of the house, living room furniture on the porch, Jake holding a flaming oven mitt and holding a stick. Then Jake, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible said, "Hello dear, how was your day?" Molly speaking loudly so that she could be heard over the smoke alarm said, "Jake is there something you would like to tell me?" Jake thought quickly, but decided that despite his ingenuity, he really didn't have a plausible explanation.
At this moment, the mouse decided that he would rather take his chances at some other location. He dropped out of the chair, scurried across the yard and never looked back. King Jake watched him go and wished he could do the same. Don't worry about Jake. He's been in worse trouble before. Maybe next time Jake will listen to Queen Molly. You never know.