Monday, November 10, 2008

Brush With Insanity: The Truth

Jake is a nice guy. I, the artist formerly known as Princess Scribbles, will admit that. He works hard all day, deals with last-minute crises, and only locks me in the tower on rare occasions.
However, Jake doesn't know all the things that go on in his humble abode while he isn't looking.
Hairbrush crisis? How can one not find a single hairbrush when one owns twelve? That is Jake's argument. Oh, it was so easy to track down all those hairbrushes. Those silly Pohick girls, not being able to find a brush! Even sillier than those little kittens who lost their mittens! Why, just round all those hairbrushes up, and BAM: Crisis avoided. Now, if those girls would just keep those brushes in the bathroom, life would be so easy!
Not the case.
A hairbrush is a devious instrument. It is, however, very useful and a great necessity for those like me who have long, beast-like hair. The brush uses this fact to its advantage and schemes against its owners in a repeated and predictable pattern:
1) In a calm, unstressed time, the hairbrush will allow itself to be found, used, and put away.
2) When no one is looking, the hairbrush will sneak out of its drawer and hide itself away. Some hiding places are good, while others are so bad they don't even count as hiding places.
3) A stressful time, such as a morning, will come about, and someone will need a hairbrush. But where have they all gone? A search ensues. The dastardly hairbrush will sneak around, slipping into nooks and crannies so that, even though a person may search for hours, the hairbrush will never be found.
4) When the hairbrush is needed least (as in, two weeks after somebody actually needed it), it will come out of hiding, chuckling malevolently, and allow itself to be found. The vicious cycle starts all over again.
It's the truth!
Haven't you ever heard the sad lament of Larry the Cucumber? "Oh, where is my hairbrush? Oh where is my hairbrush? Oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where is my hairbrush?"
"Hairbrush Matador" Scribbles signing off.

1 comment:

Jake Pohick said...

Well Done!