Sunday, October 29, 2006

Running Girl

Yesterday, Princess Yellow Hair competed in the annual Pohick Marathon. She did an excellent job finishing the course with her fastest time yet. Jake said that he was going to run along with YH to pace her and offer encouragement, but apparently there was some sort of altercation at the snack stand that demanded his attention. Congratulations YH on her fine performance!

Friday, October 27, 2006

Japanese Embassy

During the Freedom Walk Volksmarch, our band of weary travelers took a brief respite at the Japanese Embassy.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Freedom Walk

This week, the Pohick Clan along with Scribbles' girl scout troop participated in a Volksmarch called the US Freedom Walk Festival. The weekend long event was billed as a non-competitive social walking challenge bringing participants of all ages and abilities together for fun, fitness and fellowship. Jake just called the event 12 km (7.4 miles) of joy. Actually, the only reason that Jake actually completed the walk was that Molly alternated between cajoling him and walking ahead of him with a candy bar.

Monday, October 16, 2006


Jake was on a business trip this week. He was sitting in the hotel bar eating a sandwich. A few fellows came into the bar and sat near Jake. As the bar was mostly empty, Jake engaged these newcomers in conversation. "So, what line of business are you fellows in?", he asked. One of the fellows said, "We have a band." "Oh", Jake asked. "What is the name of your band." The fellow then replied, "Our band is named Everclear." "Cool", Jake said.

After talking with these fellows for awhile, Jake learned that Everclear was just laying over for the evening to give their bus driver a rest. "That is mighty considerate of them", Jake thought. He also learned that their next gig was in Tuscaloosa and they had three dates left on this tour. They have recently released a new album called Welcome to the Drama Club
After their next three dates, they will be heading back to their home in Portland, Oregon. After hanging out with the band, Jake asked the fellows if they would mind having their picture taken with him. They were very gracious and Jake wished them all good luck with the rest of the tour.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Your Wish is My Command

Jake's sister, the Vice-President of the dairy farmer's association was very insistent that she was not going to let Jake take her picture. She was concerned that Jake would somehow alter her image and put a funny hat on her head or dots on her face. After Jake crossed his heart and promised that he would not put any funny accessories on his favorite sister she finally relented to having her picture taken.

Pohick Trivia: I'll bet that you didn't know that the average person in Pohick drinks 23 gallons of milk per year.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Funny Farm

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. A member of the Pohick clan ended up with their very own padded room. Of course everyone always assumed that it would be Jake. Who would have guessed that mild mannered Squeaky would end up being the one on the inside looking out.

This must have had something to do with that wild and crazy Pohick High School class of 1961 reunion.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Happy Birthday Little Dairy Farmer

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday Little Dairy Farmer
Happy Birthday to You

This week, we celebrated the birthday of the littlest member of the Pohick Dairy Farmer's Association. In keeping with tradition, the birthday boy was allowed to go crazy with his birthday cake.

The party was a great success and would have been perfect if not for a small incident involving Jake. What happened you ask? Well, we really don't wan't to rehash the gruesome details. Let's just say that while aggressively eating your cake with both hands while rubbing it on your face and in your hair is cute with a one year old, it loses some of it's appeal with a 40 year old.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

I Scream You Scream

After a recent band event at the Pohick Royal Academy of Technology and Science, the band boosters provided the students with a little ice cream.

One scoop, two scoops, three scoops, four
Eat some ice cream and ask for more
Hot fudge, peanuts, whip cream too
Ice cream comes from critters that moo

Jake who attended the event refrained from confiscating any of Princess Scribbles' Ice Cream or to use the Pohick Vernacular he refrained from imposing a Ice Cream Tax. Of course while the band was performing, Jake sampled a large variety of band festival food to include nachos and cheese, pretzels, pop corn and a lovely pulled pork BBQ sandwich.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Bench Warrant

A bench warrant was issued today for several members of the Pohick clan. Molly and Yellow Hair finally got down to the business of finishing a bench that Molly received for her birthday from Squeaky about a year ago.

Molly went to the local home supply store to purchase some stain. Apparently she really likes the particular shade she purchased, because when she returned home she realized that she had a entire case of the exact same color and brand already sitting in the garage. Oh Well, I guess you can't have too much of a good thing. Jake is now afraid though that everything in the castle will soon be a lovely shade of Polyshades Natural Cherry Gloss from Minwax.

Molly and Yellow Hair did a fine job on the bench. Jake especially liked the fact that he was not asked to participate in this project. There is a very slight chance that the only reason he was not asked to participate was that he was nowhere to be found. His story is that he didn't realize that there was work to be done. A likely story.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Hunchback of Notre Dame

Poor Scribbles! She has a long term English literature project due in a couple of weeks at the Pohick Royal Academy of Technology and Science (PRATS). She was asked to select a classic book for her literature class. After she reads the book, she will be required to put together a number of in-depth projects that analyze and demonstrate the various themes of the book.

Scribbles selected the Hunchback of Notre Dameas her classic book. Jake asked her, "Why did you select that book?" Scribbles answered, "Because I've already seen the movie." Jake asked, "Which version of movie are you referring to?" Scribbles starred for a moment and then asked, "You mean there is more than one? I've seen the Hunchback of Notre Dame Disney Animated Classic."
Jake who is unarguably not the most learned man in the kingdom still knew that Scribbles had made an ill informed decision. Unlike the Disney Movie where everyone gets to live happily ever after, the classic book ensures that everyone suffers tremendously and then meets an untimely demise. As if that weren't bad enough, the book doesn't even come right out and say that. It forces the reader to suffer through page after page of arcane and inarticulate speech. Here is an example:

"'Tis you who are in error," replied the archdeacon, gravely. "Daedalus is the base; Orpheus is the wall; Hermes is the edifice,--that is all. You shall come when you will," he continued, turning to Tourangeau, "I will show you the little parcels of gold which remained at the bottom of Nicholas Flamel's alembic, and you shall compare them with the gold of Guillaume de Paris. ~Abbas beati Martini, SCILICET REX FRANCIAE, est canonicus de consuetudine et habet parvam proebendam quam habet sanctus Venantius, et debet sedere in sede thesaurarii~.
And yes, that is the English translation of the book. Jake doesn't really have any idea what the writer was trying to get across with that passage. Unfortunately, Scribbles who is usually quite the voracious reader, can't seem to get through more than a few pages without slipping into a narcoleptic slumber.

Jake's tip(s) of the Day:

1) Need a classic book for English Literature Class? - Don't base your selection on a Disney Movie.
2) Need a spiritual pick-me-up? - Don't pick the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
3) Need a sleeping pill substitute? - You can try reading the hunchback if you like. It will definitely knock you out. Hitting yourself on the head with a hammer will be less painful in the long run though.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Dirty Dozen

Jake was sound asleep and having that fantastic dream that he has all the time. Yep, you guessed it. It was the one where Jake is at an all-you-can-eat buffet and no matter how much he eats, he never gets stuffed. Just as Jake was heading back to the buffet for 15ths, he was awoken from his slumber by a persistent thumping on his chest.

Molly had apparently gotten up early and gone down to the kitchen. Upon inspecting the mouse traps, she discovered that one of the rodents (Number Twelve) had gotten himself ensnared. Feeling particularly brave, she transferred the critter into the mobile mouse detainment and transport mechanism all by herself and took it upstairs to show Jake. As Jake opened his bleary, sleep encrusted eyes, he was face to face with a mouse.

Molly said, "Now that I've done the hard part, you need to transport him far from the castle. Don't even think about letting him loose less than two miles from the castle."

Jake decided to enlist some help since he was going to have to hike so far. He talked Princess Yellow Hair into going with him. Princess Yellow Hair was starting to get cabin fever anyway since she had been locked away in the tower for the last week suffering from her second case of chickenpox. Jake figured that a little fresh air would do her some good.

Yellow Hair, who was obviously feeling a little cantankerous after her week of solitary confinement suggested just letting the mouse loose at one of the neighbor's castles. Jake thought about this idea, but quickly decided that this would not be the right thing to do and he so informed Yellow Hair. Besides he thought to himself, someone might see them and let Molly know. It was with a certain amount of pride though that he considered the scheme that Yellow Hair had come up with. "She takes after her dear old dad", he thought.

In any event, they not only transported the mouse far from the castle, but they also crossed several streams just to ensure that number twelve had no chance of finding his way back to the castle. Mouse War Index.