Tuesday, February 28, 2006

StarrySpark and Grocery Girl - Episode 7

Meanwhile back at the operation center of the crimefighting sisters the girls have been responding to false alarm after false alarm.

StarrySpark: I don't understand it Grocery Girl. Every time the alertometer goes off, we rush off to some cry for help only to discover that no one is in need of our assistance.

Grocery Girl: I don't understand it either StarrySpark and I've had this crazy feeling all day that someone is watching me.

Starry Spark: I've had that same feeling. I'm getting so tired of running out the door every time the alertometer goes off that I almost forgot my super disguise the last time. You know how forgetful I am.

Grocery Girl: Yes, we are both getting tired. I almost forgot my shopping bag. Without it, I won't be able to use my superpower.

StarrySpark: I'm hungry as well. Is there any chance you can pull a cheeseburger out of your shopping bag?

Grocery Girl: Nope, I've tried. I'm so tired that I can't seem to pull anything out of my shopping bag except Health Food.

StarrySpark: Yuck. Let's hope that these false alarms end soon or we will be too tired and weak to fight crime and keep the world safe from the forces of evil. I guess we should order out for pizza.

The crime fighting duo goes back to monitoring the alertometer, keeping ever vigilant for signs that one of their arch enemies may to plotting some act of evil. Can the location of their secret operation center really be that secret if they give out the address to the pizza delivery guy? Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting episode of StarrySpark and Grocery Girl. Episode 8 - The Leprechaun King's Plan for Wold Domination.

StarrySpark and Grocery Girl Episode Guide.

StarrySpark and Grocery Girl - Episode 6

Meanwhile, back in the city of Opolis in the Serect Lair of the Leprechaun King, the King is hatching his next scheme for world domination mixed with random acts of evil.
Leprechaun King: Listen to me my army of evil little leprechauns. I've been foiled by StarrySpark and Grocery Girl for the last time. I'm tired of seeing Leprechaun's treated like cute and loveable little people. And if I hear one more crack about Lucky Charms, somebody's going to pay I can tell you that. But before I can move on with my scheme for world domination mixed with random acts of evil, I need to eliminate those meddlesome dogooders StarrySpark and Grocery Girl. It won't be hard to lure them into a trap. They always come running the minute somebody starts yelling for help. If only I knew what their weaknesses were, I could finish them once and for all and then no one could stop my plans for world domination mixed with random acts of evil. Now go my Leprechaun army. Find and infiltrate the operating base of StarrySpark and Grocery Girl and find out what their weaknesses are. And for the last time will you get off my desk. You never wipe your feet and I have little leprechaun prints all over my secret plans.

Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting episode of StarrySpark and Grocery Girl. Episode 7 - Inside the Operation Center of StarrySpark and Grocery Girl.

StarrySpark and Grocery Girl Episode Guide.

StarrySpark and Grocery Girl - Episode 5

The Leprechaun King... Extract from "Who's Who in the World's Supervillians".

Current Position: Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of a world wide crime syndicate committed to world domination mixed with random acts of evil.

Education: Doctorate of Evil (D.E.), Regional University of Egomaniacal Villainy & Imaginative Larceny (RUEVIL).

KnownAssociates: An army of evil little men.

Likes: Power, Wealth (Especially pots of gold), and green beer.

Dislikes: Rainbows, Pointy Shoes and any references to his height.

Why he turned evil: He was turned down as the spokesleprechaun of a popular cereal because he was a little too tall.

Arch Enemies: StarrySpark and Grocery Girl

Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting episode of StarrySpark and Grocery Girl. Episode 6 - The Secret Lair of the Leprechaun King.

StarrySpark and Grocery Girl Episode Guide.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

StarrySpark and Grocery Girl - Episode 4

Somewhere in desert of the America West the dynamic crimefighting sisters StarrySpark and Grocery Girl take a break after a hard day of fighting crime.
StarrySpark: I sure could use a snack right about now.
Grocery Girl: Hmmmm...That's an easy problem to solve. Grocery Girl reaches into her shopping bag invoking her superpower to summon a quick snack for the crime fighting team.
Grocery Girl: These Marshmallows sure would taste better if they were toasted.
StarrySpark: I've got you covered sister. StarrySpark activates her laser beam vision and toasts the Marshmallow.
Grocery Girl: Thanks sister. You're the best sidekick a girl could ever ask for.
StarrySpark: For the last time Grocery Girl, "You are the sidekick". I'm not even sure that fetching groceries is a real superpower.
Grocery Girl: Thanks....I'll remember that the next time you get hungry.
StarrySpark: Yeah, Yeah....How about some root beer to wash down these marshmallows?

Will the girls figure out that smores taste better than plain marshmallows? Will the girls still be able to fly after snacking? Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting episode of StarrySpark and Grocery Girl. Episode 5 - The Leprechaun King's entry in who's who in the world's supervillians.

StarrySpark and Grocery Girl Episode Guide.

StarrySpark and Grocery Girl - Episode 3

Introducing...Grocery Girl. The following is an extract from "Who's Who in the World's Superheros"

Real Name: Princess YellowHair

Secret Identity: Grocery Girl

Real Life Occupation: Student and Television Critic

Superpowers: Ability to fly and the ability to pull any grocery item out of her shopping bag. She gained her power during a freak explosion of a supermarket barcode scanner.

Weaknesses: Allergic (or so she claims) to broccoli. Can't do anything without her shopping bag.

Known Associates: Works with StarrySpark. (Both claim the other is the sidekick)

Arch Enemies: The Leprechaun King, The Clonenator and The Shop Lifter.

Favorite Movie: Bambi II

Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting episode of StarrySpark and Grocery Girl. Episode 4 - StarrySpark and Grocery Girl take a break from crimefighting.

StarrySpark and Grocery Girl Episode Guide.

StarrySpark and Grocery Girl - Episode 2

Introducing...StarrySpark. The following is an extract from "Who's Who in the World's Superheros".

Real Name: Princess StarrySpark

Secret Identity: StarrySpark

Real Life Occupation: Student and Author (See her writing at Fanfiction.net)

Superpowers: Ability to fly and laser beam vision.

Weaknesses: Not very organized. It's hard to fight world-wide crime when you can't remember where you left your things.

Known Associates: Works with Grocery Girl. (Both claim the other is the sidekick)

Arch Enemies: The Leprechaun King, The Clonenator and The Shop Lifter.

Favorite Movie: Phantom of the Opera

Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting episode of StarrySpark and Grocery Girl. Episode 3 - Grocery Girl's entry in Who's Who in the World's Superheros.

StarrySpark and Grocery Girl Episode Guide.

StarrySpark and Grocery Girl - Episode 1

Introducing two new Superheros: StarrySpark and Grocery Girl. They are sisters. They are superheros. Each one thinks that the other is the sidekick. Together they keep the world safe and fight the forces of evil. (After they get their homework done of course) Join us each day for the continuing adventures StarrySpark and Grocery Girl.

Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting episode of StarrySpark and Grocery Girl Episode 2 - StarrySpark's entry in Who's Who in the World's Superhero's.

StarrySpark and Grocery Girl Episode Guide.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Who moved the King's Cheese?

The pohick ladies decided to stage an intervention today because of the eradic behavior that King Jake has been exhibiting all week concerning his mouse obsession. As part of the intervention, they gave Jake a copy of the book, Who Moved My Cheese. The message of Who Moved My Cheese is that change can be a blessing or a curse, depending on your perspective. Who Moved My Cheese? is a parable that takes place in a maze. Four beings live in that maze: Sniff and Scurry are mice--nonanalytical and nonjudgmental, they just want cheese and are willing to do whatever it takes to get it. Hem and Haw are "littlepeople," mouse-size humans who have an entirely different relationship with cheese. It's not just sustenance to them; it's their self-image. Their lives and belief systems are built around the cheese they've found. Most of us reading the story will see the cheese as something related to our livelihoods--our jobs, our career paths, the industries we work in--although it can stand for anything, from health to relationships. The point of the story is that we have to be alert to changes in the cheese, and be prepared to go running off in search of new sources of cheese when the cheese we have runs out. The ladies are hoping Jake will actually read the book since it talks about cheese and will move on with his life.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Mouse War - The Return of the King

The Pohick ladies found King Jake in a terrible state (Not New Jersey) today when they returned home. Apparently the Guinea Pigs had given King Jake some bad data. Despite the ingenious disguise King Jake was wearing, the mice were able to figure him out. Jake claims that the mice were speaking a slightly different dialect than he was expecting and they caught on to him. When trying to make his get away, Jake found that the nice Cheddars of the World Assortment he was planning to use to distract the mice was all gone. It was a long walk he claimed and his tummy got a little rumbly. Jake tried to make a run for it, but having gobbled all the cheese, he just couldn't run very fast. After the girls got him untied, he announced a new policy of tolerance toward the Pohick Mice and won't take any actions to antagonize them in the future.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Mouse War - King Jake Goes Under Cover

Day two of operation mouse trap and still no luck. The mice have been laying low. The Guinea Pigs now claim that the mice are in hiding somewhere in the moutains of the Pohick National Forest. This area is very inhospitable for people. Using the information gained from the Guinea Pigs and an ingeniously clever disguise, King Jake intends to infiltrate the pohick mouse base camp in order to determine where and when they plan to strike next. King Jake then intends to exfiltrate his intelligence back to the little cabin on the edge of the Pohick National Forest where he will set up a carefully planned ambush to capture the top brass of the mouse gang. In case King Jake is captured, he intends to carry with him a nice Cheddars of the World Assortment with which he will use to distract the mice until he can make his escape. We all wish King Jake good luck and god speed as he undertakes this dangerous mission.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Mouse War - The collaborators

This morning King Jake rushed to the kitchen to see if he had managed to capture any of the Pohick Mice in the Victor Live Catch Mouse Traps. Alas, there was no such luck. Both traps had been sprung, but neither had entrapped a member of the nefarious gang of mouse hoodlums. As you can imagine, this put King Jake into a very despondent mood. He had placed high hopes in his mouse entrapment technology. What had gone wrong? The mouse catching instructions had been followed to the letter. Trap baited with Peanut Butter. Check. Trap placed in high mouse traffic area. Check. Not a lot of potential failure points. There could only be one other explanation for the failure of the traps to ensnare one of the midnight requisitioning rodents. They had been tipped off. King Jake immediately began rounding up all of the likely mouse sympathizers and collaborators in the Kingdom. These suspects were taken to an undisclosed secure holding facility where they were interogated about their knowledge of mice activities. None of these disloyal mouse lovers has yet confessed to the deed, but there is high likelihood that they will crack soon. There won't be any more Guinea Pig Treats until they do. Don't worry, they have all been treated humanely...errrr... I mean Guinea Pigmanely. They are provided with high quality provisions including, Care Fresh Bedding, Kaytee Timothy Hay, and lots of Fresh Carrots.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Mouse War - The People Strike Back

After returning home from the Emerald City to the little cabin on the edge of the Pohick National Forest it was apparent that the mice were running amuck during our absence. Evidence of their visit was found in each of the kitchen drawers and under the sink. The Pohick Clan went to the Ace Hardware Store and purchased a pair of Victor Live Catch Mouse Traps.  Princess YellowHair baited the traps with Peter Pan Peanut Butter and Nabisco Premium Saltine Crackers. It's a good thing that King Jake is not a mouse because as soon as he saw the peanut butter and crackers, his stomach started rumbling. One can easily envision King Jake blindly climbing into a people size mouse trap in order to get at the peanut butter and crackers. One of the mouse traps was placed in the kitchen drawer where the Halls Cough Drops were located. The other trap went under the sink where the large quantity of mouse doodles indicates a hot mouse nightspot. We will see if the party mood of the mice continues after one or two of their little buddies get themselves locked in the slammer. I highly doubt that the judge will be willing to grant bail.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

The King's New Throne

So, as you can expect, Queen Molly has on occasion chastised King Jake for leaving the toilet seat up. King Jake having been pushed too far, finally decided to put the toilet seat down.......in the basement. Ok, Ok. It's almost impossible to write a caption for this photo and not devolve into a string of potty humor. Actually King Jake and the rest of the Pohick clan journeyed to the emperald city this weekend. King Jake's mother, Queen B, always has a Sonny-Do list waiting for him when he arrives. This visit was no exception. The first item on the list was to do the taxes. After that task was complete, the stuff really hit the fan. King Jake got the job of replacing Queen B's throne (so to speak). Having spent his fair share of time on the throne over the years, King Jake was uniquely qualified for the job. In case, you are looking for a new throne for your throne room, here is a nice model that King Jake has given his royal seal of approval. Toilet Seat

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Mouse War - Battle of the Cough Drop

As predicted the battle between the Pohick Mice and the Pohick people has escalated. After moving all of our food products from the set of cabinets that the mouse appears to favor, the only thing we didn't move was a bag of Halls Fruit Breezers cough drops. Apparently the mouse has developed a sore throat. Or maybe, Mr. Mouse decided that since he went to all of the trouble to infiltrate our impenetrable fortress, he might as well help himself to whatever was available. He opened the bag of Halls Fruit Breezers, grabbed a cough drop and then climbed through the cabinets to another drawer where he opened the cough drop and began to nibble. King Jake, who has become obsessed with catching the mouse, tiptoed into the kitchen this morning and began to whip open the various kitchen cabinets. Maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him, but he swears that he heard the scurrying of little feet and began screaming for all of the other residents of the little log cabin to converge in the kitchen. Queen Molly contends that there is very little chance that King Jake heard anything given all of the crashing of pots and pans as King Jake tore threw the kitchen like a whirling dervish. King Jake is now contemplating his next move in the escalating mouse war. Possible courses of action include: 1. Hire a professional mouse exterminator (Unlikely, where's the fun in that) 2. Laser Alarm Trip Sensor (Hmmm, Maybe a little complex, but Lasers are definitely fun) 3. Good old fashioned lethal Mouse Trap (Maybe, but King Jake apparently already has a low opinion rating based on some of the comments) 4. Or maybe a non-lethal Mouse Trap (King Jake will have to do some research on that one). King Jake must admit that he would like nothing better than to catch the culprit alive. That way he can parade the mouse in front of the media and use him as an example for any other potential malcontents. And no, there are not any Geneva Convention rules that prohibit the parading of captured rodents in front of the media. The mouse represents no legal power and can be held indefinitely. King Jake might have to be concerned about the PETA people, but as long as he is not planning to eat the mouse they probably have bigger fish to fry (oops, sorry about that).

Friday, February 17, 2006

Marine Corps Marathon Update

Today, Princess YellowHair and her classmates at the Lucky Leprechuan Elementary School received a check for $1000 for their participation in the Healthy Kids Fun Run which was held in conjunction with the Marine Corps Marathon. The school received the award for having the most participants in the annual event. Eighty-Eight of Princess YellowHair's classmates participated in the annual event. In addition to the check for $1000, McDonalds donated apple dippers for each of the 400 or so students in the school. King Jake didn't get any apple dippers and his stomache is starting to rubble a little bit. Unfortunately King Jake didn't run in the marathon so I guess that he doesn't really need the extra calories anyway. Several marines were onhand to make the presentation along with their mascot Miles who is a 7 foot tall bulldog. The $1000 will be used to purchase supplies for the Physical Education Department at the Lucky Leprechuan Elementary School.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Mouse Wars

So there I was just minding my own business. I was cooking some hamburgers for my family's dinner this evening, when what did I discover? I discovered the evidence. There was a hole in the side of the hamburger bun bag. That's very odd I said to myself. Then I noticed the tiny itty bitty little teeth marks in the hamburger buns. And then I noticed the tiny itty bitty little mouse doodles scattered around the bread drawer. Yuck that's nasty. Now don't get me wrong. I don't have anything in particular against rodents. In fact, we actually have a couple of guinea pigs as pets. They mind their own business, pay their rent on time and don't throw wild parties while we are gone. Or so we thought. Now, I feel compelled to get one of those nanny cameras to see what kind of crazy rodent extravaganzas are taking place when we are not around. I don't have special animosity towards rodents, but I certainly don't want them crawling around in our bread drawer helping themselves to a feast. Queen Molly and I spent the last couple of hours attempting to mouse proof the kitchen cabinets. This proved to be almost impossible given all of the nooks and crannies in the kitchen. Despite our efforts, this is probably just the first salvo in what will eventually be a long and protracted war between the pohick mice and the pohick people. Just remember who drew first blood though. Ahhh, I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like........Victory.........

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentine's Day

Queen Molly received quite a bounty from her student's at the lucky leprechaun elementary school today. In fact she received so many goodies that she decreed that King Jake could make a withdrawl from the royal chocolate treasury. :) Yummy.

The Elusive North American StarrySpark

Here we see a photograph of the elusive princess StarrySpark who rarely comes out of her den. We occassionally see her but this usually occurs only at feeding time. More often than not, she is sequestered in her den where she spends most of her waking hours contemplating the meaning of life and pondering the mysteries of the great unknown. Actually, when she is not doing homework (99% of the time), she is practicing her chosen art of writing. She intends to be a great writer some day because she can't bear the thought of having a nine to five job like the rest of us mere mortals. If you would like to preview one of her stories, you can check out "Phantom Angel" a unauthorized sequel to the "Phantom of the Opera".

Snow Art

Today at the little cabin on the edge of the Pohick National Forest the snow started to melt off a little bit. With the bit that was left though, Princess YellowHair decided to try her hand at a little snow sculpture. She titled this work of art "Frederick" and added a disclaimer that any similarities between "Frederick" and King Jake were purely coincidental. Hmmm.... As I didn't have lunch today, I briefly considered eating the candy bits off of Frederick's face. But Princess YellowHair probably wouldn't appreciate that. I guess I will just have to suffer for the "Art". I've heard of starving artists, but who ever heard of starving parents of artists.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Snowed In

Here we see the youngest Pohick Princess out monitoring the snow accumulation outside of our wilderness cabin. In the winter, we are often snowed in for months at a time. We use the winter months for book-learnin and such. You know what they say. A mind is a terrible thing.....to waste. And just being a Pohick Princess is not enough to get you ahead in the modern world, so we ensure that both of the Pohick Princesses get all of the education they can stand. We also make good use of our time making clothing out of the animal pelts.

Welcome to Pohick

Hello everyone. As you well know, I can't resist trying new things. My latest endeavor is this blog site. As if you weren't already tired of my incessant and often random ramblings, I now have yet another medium with which to annoy.... I mean enlighten you. You may ask yourself, why I have selected the title of Pohick. It just so happens that the little log cabin in which my family and I dwell is located on the perimeter of the Pohick National Forest. The PNF as we like to call it is the largest and most underdeveloped Forest area in the entire state of confusion.