Saturday, February 18, 2006

Mouse War - Battle of the Cough Drop

As predicted the battle between the Pohick Mice and the Pohick people has escalated. After moving all of our food products from the set of cabinets that the mouse appears to favor, the only thing we didn't move was a bag of Halls Fruit Breezers cough drops. Apparently the mouse has developed a sore throat. Or maybe, Mr. Mouse decided that since he went to all of the trouble to infiltrate our impenetrable fortress, he might as well help himself to whatever was available. He opened the bag of Halls Fruit Breezers, grabbed a cough drop and then climbed through the cabinets to another drawer where he opened the cough drop and began to nibble. King Jake, who has become obsessed with catching the mouse, tiptoed into the kitchen this morning and began to whip open the various kitchen cabinets. Maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him, but he swears that he heard the scurrying of little feet and began screaming for all of the other residents of the little log cabin to converge in the kitchen. Queen Molly contends that there is very little chance that King Jake heard anything given all of the crashing of pots and pans as King Jake tore threw the kitchen like a whirling dervish. King Jake is now contemplating his next move in the escalating mouse war. Possible courses of action include: 1. Hire a professional mouse exterminator (Unlikely, where's the fun in that) 2. Laser Alarm Trip Sensor (Hmmm, Maybe a little complex, but Lasers are definitely fun) 3. Good old fashioned lethal Mouse Trap (Maybe, but King Jake apparently already has a low opinion rating based on some of the comments) 4. Or maybe a non-lethal Mouse Trap (King Jake will have to do some research on that one). King Jake must admit that he would like nothing better than to catch the culprit alive. That way he can parade the mouse in front of the media and use him as an example for any other potential malcontents. And no, there are not any Geneva Convention rules that prohibit the parading of captured rodents in front of the media. The mouse represents no legal power and can be held indefinitely. King Jake might have to be concerned about the PETA people, but as long as he is not planning to eat the mouse they probably have bigger fish to fry (oops, sorry about that).

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think my comments hit home yesterday and when you removed all food items out of the cabinet I think you subconciously left the cough drops for the mice. Looking at the amount of snow you got down there, forcing the mice to scurry for cover as if artillery was coming in, they are sure to have sore throats. You could always use the hospitality method of keeping your enemies closer. Why don't you take the ends of the bread and us them as sacrifices to the Pohick Mice gods and leave it as a peace offering. I'm not talking about setting place settings for them but you should try to darw them as close to you as possible. Then you spring the trap on them. From your previous writings it appears you are a bit squeemish when it comes to blood and guts. Try the sticky trap. you may even want to put yellow, green, blue and red dots on the trap to camoflauge it as a Pohick mouse twister mat. Hey we all are trying to invent a better mouse trap why should I be any different. Once you have the mouse you could try to domesticate it like the sell out guine pig or you could take him to the forest and evict him, you may want to use a thick glove so he dosen't try to bite you as you pull him from the sticky twister board. If you domesticate him you will have to provide for him, i.e. another mouth to feed. He may try to defy you though by running on the squeeky wheel to the wee hours in the morning, but you will have the daily satisfaction that you dominated him and made him subservent to you. The King of Pohick mice. All hale the King of Mouse.