Thursday, February 23, 2006
Mouse War - The Return of the King
The Pohick ladies found King Jake in a terrible state (Not New Jersey) today when they returned home. Apparently the Guinea Pigs had given King Jake some bad data. Despite the ingenious disguise King Jake was wearing, the mice were able to figure him out. Jake claims that the mice were speaking a slightly different dialect than he was expecting and they caught on to him. When trying to make his get away, Jake found that the nice Cheddars of the World Assortment he was planning to use to distract the mice was all gone. It was a long walk he claimed and his tummy got a little rumbly. Jake tried to make a run for it, but having gobbled all the cheese, he just couldn't run very fast. After the girls got him untied, he announced a new policy of tolerance toward the Pohick Mice and won't take any actions to antagonize them in the future.
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I saw this same ransom photo on a Mouseqada web site. The captors were threatening to put him on a tread mill and make him run to charge the batteries that provide power to their under ground caverns. His release is predicated on a paid ransom of Cheddars of the World Assortment , not the fake or generic type either. Spokesman from the House of Mouse made a statement that he got what was coming to him. They compared him to an extra from the Indiana Jones action movie. This time he will probably run himself to death if the ransom is not paid. The Pohick Mice Tribe is not a direct descendent of the House of Mouse tribe they have many similarities. The House of Mouse takes your money and the Pohick Mice take your bread, similar but different. Information Operation specialists note the nonverbal communication of the photo; ears cocked to one side, placement of the ransom note, placement of the carcass in the corner same side as the cocked ears, and the tape across the mouth to silence any pleas for mercy. All this sends programmed messages to Pohick Mice operatives at large around the King Jake kingdom. They truly believe that this was just the tip of the iceberg. Expect retaliatory actions towards the King Jake family. It looks like the Pohick Mice built a bigger and better mouse trap than the Victor Live Catch Mouse Traps. It was speculation the other day that it was King Jake that ate the Peter Pan Peanut Butter and Nabisco Premium Saltine Crackers and intentionally set off the Victor Live Catch Mouse Traps. A feeble attempt to trick Queen Molly and Princess Yellow Hair into believing that the Pohick Mice stealthily evaded the trap while dining. It is also believed that King Jake ate the Guinea Pig Treats as part of the torture of the peaceful Royal Guinea Pig pets. He said it was part of the interrogation plan but we believe that he had a rumble in the tumble episode. The caption on the website under the picture was translated to “Just Rewards comes to those who are deserving”
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