Thursday, February 16, 2006

Mouse Wars

So there I was just minding my own business. I was cooking some hamburgers for my family's dinner this evening, when what did I discover? I discovered the evidence. There was a hole in the side of the hamburger bun bag. That's very odd I said to myself. Then I noticed the tiny itty bitty little teeth marks in the hamburger buns. And then I noticed the tiny itty bitty little mouse doodles scattered around the bread drawer. Yuck that's nasty. Now don't get me wrong. I don't have anything in particular against rodents. In fact, we actually have a couple of guinea pigs as pets. They mind their own business, pay their rent on time and don't throw wild parties while we are gone. Or so we thought. Now, I feel compelled to get one of those nanny cameras to see what kind of crazy rodent extravaganzas are taking place when we are not around. I don't have special animosity towards rodents, but I certainly don't want them crawling around in our bread drawer helping themselves to a feast. Queen Molly and I spent the last couple of hours attempting to mouse proof the kitchen cabinets. This proved to be almost impossible given all of the nooks and crannies in the kitchen. Despite our efforts, this is probably just the first salvo in what will eventually be a long and protracted war between the pohick mice and the pohick people. Just remember who drew first blood though. Ahhh, I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like........Victory.........

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think you are a cup half empty Pohick person that is looking to keep the Pohick mouse down. You were also probably responsible for ensuring that the poor pohick mouse lost his job at the swiss cheese factory, making holes in the cheese as a result of some dumb boycott on goods because someone decided to publish a cartoon. So you put the Pohick mouse out of a job, he probably is not a military contractor so you know he can't find a job and cannot support his Pohick mouse family on his tiny Pokhick mouse unemployment check. So he has resorted to a life of crime in order to support the some hundred or so offspring. He probably resorted to selling some of them off for lab experiements or something. You should do some soul searching and see your bread basket as the Pohick mouse sees it as half full. Half full of bread and half full of doody. He probably thought it was a government handout. Pohick mice have a proud history of being free, not a sell out like the guine pigs. They one time were probably guine mice and sold out to the man, lost their tail and their freedom inorder to ride the system. Next you will probably be servaling Pohick phone conversations getting inside trade information and investing big bucks then you Pohick people will start shooting each other with shotguns. Pick on a Pohick your own size. They don't eat much.

The Pohick Mouse Union.