Saturday, August 29, 2009

We are Borg

The Borg are a fictional pseudo-race of cybernetic organisms depicted in the Star Trek universe. The Borg are cybernetically enhanced humanoid drones who are linked together against their will with a bunch of technology and wires. Much like the gentleman in this picture. The Borg have become a symbol in popular culture for any juggernaut against which "resistance is futile".

For years, Molly has berated Jake for what she considers to be his extremely loud snoring. Jake tried to explain to her that everyone snores, but like the saying goes, "Resistance is Futile." Jake finally acquiesced and asked his doctor if there was anything that could be done about his snoring. Jake's doctor referred him to a specialist who explained that he may be suffering from something called sleep apnea in which the snoring becomes extreme enough to have an impact on restful sleep. In order to determine if Jake actually has sleep apnea, he would have to undergo a series of tests to evaluate what is going on while he sleeps. Jake agreed to the tests without really knowing what he was getting himself into. The tests are conducted in what is euphemistically called a sleep center. I say euphemistically, because the first night Jake spent there, he did not sleep even a wink. Perhaps it was the weirdness of being wired up with all of the latest technology including a EKG, EEG, Pulse oximeter, microphones, airflow meters that kept Jake from being able to turn his brain off. Or perhaps it was the fact that he could not relax because he was thinking about the people who were starring at him all night using night vision cameras. In any event the first night was a total bust and Jake was feeling a little loseresque as he lamented that he couldn't even sleep right. Jake has now done three nights at the sleep center and has gotten much better about actually sleeping at the sleep clinic. It is much easier to sleep there when you just think of it as a hotel room which is indeed what it looks like. It is also easier to sleep there when you know what to expect. He also know all of the techs on a first name basis and could probably hook up and install all of the monitoring equipment himself if he was pressed to do so. Jake took along his own pillows, a good book, watched some TV and slipped into a blissful slumber. We must now wait for a diagnosis from the doctor, but we'll let you know how that goes. In the mean time, just remember, "Resistance is Futile"!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you use some very fancy names to say that you are not sleeping.