Happy New Year

Happy New Year from the Pohick family. Did you usher in the New Year in Style?

Jake is busily scribbling down his new year's resolutions. Surprisingly, they look suspiciously like last year's resolutions.

Jake's Resolutions
1. Lose weight
2. Spend less money (Yes, Kings have a budget too)
3. Learn to do something that he doesn't already know how to do. (He was considering Gourmet Cooking , but that seemed to be in conflict with resolution number 1)

So, what are your new year's resolutions? Leave us a comment and let us know what you plan to accomplish in the new year.

And the Winner Is .....

Jake was the winner of this year's "Best Christmas Decorations in Pohick" contest. Of course if you leave your Christmas lights up all year round and just keep adding to them each year, you are bound to win sooner or later. This year Jake connected the Christmas lights up to his computer using a device he purchased from Animated Lighting. The judges were obviously mesmerized as the castle morphed from color to color. Molly is not pleased with this award because she believes that Jake will just go to even further extremes in order to win first place again next year.

The King is Dead, Long Live the King

No excuses. Jake only intended to take only a short break from the rough and tumble world of blogging, but the next thing he knew it was two months later. Wow, time does indeed fly. Since things are starting to wind down at the end of the year, we should be able to begin providing our faithful readers with more regular updates. Well....more regular than every two months at least. And to all of those faithful readers who have continued to read this blog every day despite the fact that I haven't posted anything.....err....thanks. We will now return you to the regularly schedule program already in progress.

Running Girl

Yesterday, Princess Yellow Hair competed in the annual Pohick Marathon. She did an excellent job finishing the course with her fastest time yet. Jake said that he was going to run along with YH to pace her and offer encouragement, but apparently there was some sort of altercation at the snack stand that demanded his attention. Congratulations YH on her fine performance!

Japanese Embassy

During the Freedom Walk Volksmarch, our band of weary travelers took a brief respite at the Japanese Embassy.

Freedom Walk

This week, the Pohick Clan along with Scribbles' girl scout troop participated in a Volksmarch called the US Freedom Walk Festival. The weekend long event was billed as a non-competitive social walking challenge bringing participants of all ages and abilities together for fun, fitness and fellowship. Jake just called the event 12 km (7.4 miles) of joy. Actually, the only reason that Jake actually completed the walk was that Molly alternated between cajoling him and walking ahead of him with a candy bar.

Everclear

Jake was on a business trip this week. He was sitting in the hotel bar eating a sandwich. A few fellows came into the bar and sat near Jake. As the bar was mostly empty, Jake engaged these newcomers in conversation. "So, what line of business are you fellows in?", he asked. One of the fellows said, "We have a band." "Oh", Jake asked. "What is the name of your band." The fellow then replied, "Our band is named Everclear." "Cool", Jake said.

After talking with these fellows for awhile, Jake learned that Everclear was just laying over for the evening to give their bus driver a rest. "That is mighty considerate of them", Jake thought. He also learned that their next gig was in Tuscaloosa and they had three dates left on this tour. They have recently released a new album called Welcome to the Drama Club
After their next three dates, they will be heading back to their home in Portland, Oregon. After hanging out with the band, Jake asked the fellows if they would mind having their picture taken with him. They were very gracious and Jake wished them all good luck with the rest of the tour.

Your Wish is My Command

Jake's sister, the Vice-President of the dairy farmer's association was very insistent that she was not going to let Jake take her picture. She was concerned that Jake would somehow alter her image and put a funny hat on her head or dots on her face. After Jake crossed his heart and promised that he would not put any funny accessories on his favorite sister she finally relented to having her picture taken.

Pohick Trivia: I'll bet that you didn't know that the average person in Pohick drinks 23 gallons of milk per year.

Funny Farm

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. A member of the Pohick clan ended up with their very own padded room. Of course everyone always assumed that it would be Jake. Who would have guessed that mild mannered Squeaky would end up being the one on the inside looking out.

This must have had something to do with that wild and crazy Pohick High School class of 1961 reunion.

Happy Birthday Little Dairy Farmer

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday Little Dairy Farmer
Happy Birthday to You

This week, we celebrated the birthday of the littlest member of the Pohick Dairy Farmer's Association. In keeping with tradition, the birthday boy was allowed to go crazy with his birthday cake.

The party was a great success and would have been perfect if not for a small incident involving Jake. What happened you ask? Well, we really don't wan't to rehash the gruesome details. Let's just say that while aggressively eating your cake with both hands while rubbing it on your face and in your hair is cute with a one year old, it loses some of it's appeal with a 40 year old.

I Scream You Scream

After a recent band event at the Pohick Royal Academy of Technology and Science, the band boosters provided the students with a little ice cream.

One scoop, two scoops, three scoops, four

Eat some ice cream and ask for more

Hot fudge, peanuts, whip cream too

Ice cream comes from critters that moo

Jake who attended the event refrained from confiscating any of Princess Scribbles' Ice Cream or to use the Pohick Vernacular he refrained from imposing a Ice Cream Tax. Of course while the band was performing, Jake sampled a large variety of band festival food to include nachos and cheese, pretzels, pop corn and a lovely pulled pork BBQ sandwich.

Bench Warrant

A bench warrant was issued today for several members of the Pohick clan. Molly and Yellow Hair finally got down to the business of finishing a bench that Molly received for her birthday from Squeaky about a year ago.

Molly went to the local home supply store to purchase some stain. Apparently she really likes the particular shade she purchased, because when she returned home she realized that she had a entire case of the exact same color and brand already sitting in the garage. Oh Well, I guess you can't have too much of a good thing. Jake is now afraid though that everything in the castle will soon be a lovely shade of Polyshades Natural Cherry Gloss from Minwax.

Molly and Yellow Hair did a fine job on the bench. Jake especially liked the fact that he was not asked to participate in this project. There is a very slight chance that the only reason he was not asked to participate was that he was nowhere to be found. His story is that he didn't realize that there was work to be done. A likely story.

Hunchback of Notre Dame

Poor Scribbles! She has a long term English literature project due in a couple of weeks at the Pohick Royal Academy of Technology and Science (PRATS). She was asked to select a classic book for her literature class. After she reads the book, she will be required to put together a number of in-depth projects that analyze and demonstrate the various themes of the book.

Scribbles selected the Hunchback of Notre Dameas her classic book. Jake asked her, "Why did you select that book?" Scribbles answered, "Because I've already seen the movie." Jake asked, "Which version of movie are you referring to?" Scribbles starred for a moment and then asked, "You mean there is more than one? I've seen the Hunchback of Notre Dame Disney Animated Classic."
Jake who is unarguably not the most learned man in the kingdom still knew that Scribbles had made an ill informed decision. Unlike the Disney Movie where everyone gets to live happily ever after, the classic book ensures that everyone suffers tremendously and then meets an untimely demise. As if that weren't bad enough, the book doesn't even come right out and say that. It forces the reader to suffer through page after page of arcane and inarticulate speech. Here is an example:

"'Tis you who are in error," replied the archdeacon, gravely. "Daedalus is the base; Orpheus is the wall; Hermes is the edifice,--that is all. You shall come when you will," he continued, turning to Tourangeau, "I will show you the little parcels of gold which remained at the bottom of Nicholas Flamel's alembic, and you shall compare them with the gold of Guillaume de Paris. ~Abbas beati Martini, SCILICET REX FRANCIAE, est canonicus de consuetudine et habet parvam proebendam quam habet sanctus Venantius, et debet sedere in sede thesaurarii~.

And yes, that is the English translation of the book. Jake doesn't really have any idea what the writer was trying to get across with that passage. Unfortunately, Scribbles who is usually quite the voracious reader, can't seem to get through more than a few pages without slipping into a narcoleptic slumber.

Jake's tip(s) of the Day:

1) Need a classic book for English Literature Class? - Don't base your selection on a Disney Movie.
2) Need a spiritual pick-me-up? - Don't pick the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
3) Need a sleeping pill substitute? - You can try reading the hunchback if you like. It will definitely knock you out. Hitting yourself on the head with a hammer will be less painful in the long run though.

Dirty Dozen

Jake was sound asleep and having that fantastic dream that he has all the time. Yep, you guessed it. It was the one where Jake is at an all-you-can-eat buffet and no matter how much he eats, he never gets stuffed. Just as Jake was heading back to the buffet for 15ths, he was awoken from his slumber by a persistent thumping on his chest.

Molly had apparently gotten up early and gone down to the kitchen. Upon inspecting the mouse traps, she discovered that one of the rodents (Number Twelve) had gotten himself ensnared. Feeling particularly brave, she transferred the critter into the mobile mouse detainment and transport mechanism all by herself and took it upstairs to show Jake. As Jake opened his bleary, sleep encrusted eyes, he was face to face with a mouse.

Molly said, "Now that I've done the hard part, you need to transport him far from the castle. Don't even think about letting him loose less than two miles from the castle."

Jake decided to enlist some help since he was going to have to hike so far. He talked Princess Yellow Hair into going with him. Princess Yellow Hair was starting to get cabin fever anyway since she had been locked away in the tower for the last week suffering from her second case of chickenpox. Jake figured that a little fresh air would do her some good.

Yellow Hair, who was obviously feeling a little cantankerous after her week of solitary confinement suggested just letting the mouse loose at one of the neighbor's castles. Jake thought about this idea, but quickly decided that this would not be the right thing to do and he so informed Yellow Hair. Besides he thought to himself, someone might see them and let Molly know. It was with a certain amount of pride though that he considered the scheme that Yellow Hair had come up with. "She takes after her dear old dad", he thought.

In any event, they not only transported the mouse far from the castle, but they also crossed several streams just to ensure that number twelve had no chance of finding his way back to the castle. Mouse War Index.

That Wild and Crazy Class of 1961

Last week, Squeaky (Jake's Mom) had her high school class reunion. She won't let us say how old she is, but as the photo below of the reunion says in big bold letter, "Class of 1961"..... Well anyway, we'll let you do the math. The reunion which lasted the entire weekend was apparently a lot of fun and it sound's like Squeaky and her little friends had a good time.

Rumor has it that several law enforcement agencies did somehow become involved in the event. Squeaky says that she isn't talking though. I guess we will just never know what happen when the class of 1961 got together in 2006 which would be 45 years after they graduated.

A Pox Upon Your House

So, last night Princess Yellow Hair came to King Jake and said, "I've got a few bug bites." Jake didn't think too much of this, because bug bites happen to the best of us. As he thought about it a little more though, it just didn't fit. Yellow Hair hadn't been outside all day. Unless the castle had been infested by yet another pest, there was no reason that Yellow Hair should have bug bites.

Jake then did what all knowledgeable fathers do in this sort of situation. He sent Yellow Hair to see her mother. Molly took about 30 seconds to make her diagnosis. "It's chickenpox", she stated.

Jake blinked.... "It can't be chickenpox. She had the chickenpox vaccine. Then she had a diagnosed case of the chicken pox two years ago. How can she possibly have chickenpox again?", he ranted.

Molly in her typical calm demeanor (unless facing down mice) shrugged and said, "I don't know, but it's chickenpox."

Today, Molly took Yellow Hair to the royal medical practitioner to have the diagnosis confirmed. "Yep, that's chicken pox."

Molly then asked the doctor, "How can she have contracted chickenpox for the second time even after she had the vaccine?"

The doctor then enlightened us with the following. Catching wild chickenpox as a child has been thought to commonly result in lifelong immunity. Second episodes of chickenpox have been rare, but actually occur more frequently in the vaccine group. In one study, 30% of children had lost the antibody after five years, and 8% had already caught "wild" chickenpox in that five year period. Some vaccinated children have been found to lose their protective antibody in as little as five to eight years; however, according to the World Health Organization: "After observation of study populations for periods of up to 20 years in Japan and 10 years in the United States, more than 90% of immunocompetent persons who were vaccinated as children were still protected from varicella." Persons infected after vaccine experience milder cases of chicken pox.

Jake really didn't understand most of that explanation, but he got the gist that some people do get chickenpox several times even after getting the vaccine. Yellow Hair was just one of those lucky few. So there you go. Yellow Hair is not a freak. Just a rule breaker and an over achiever. We think she just wanted to stay home from school for a couple of days.

Mouse Nabbed

Well, one mouse down and X mice to go. X is what we call a variable. It is one of those math terms that means that we don't have any idea about how many mice are actually lurking in the castle. One of our problems is that the mice are pretty good with math as well. They are especially good at multiplying exponentially.

Molly examined this particular fellow to see if she recognized him from the other evening. Unfortunately, she was not able to pick him out of a line up though. Oh well, we will just exile this guy from the castle and redouble our efforts to catch his cohorts.

Mouse War Index

Mouse War Revisited

Apparently, after having taken an extended holiday, the mice have returned. We haven't seen a single mouse for over 5 months and figured that we had seen the last of them. The calm was broken by a blood curdling scream from the kitchen. As soon as Jake heard that scream, he knew that it could be only one thing. Running down to the kitchen he hoped against hope that this scream was attributable to some small tragedy, such as cutting off a finger in a moment of kitchen carelessness. All hope was lost however when he arrived in the kitchen and found Molly perched on a chair with an ashen face. Jake stated, "I'm guessing you saw a mouse?" Molly, "Stop asking dumb questions. Of course I saw a mouse. Now, please do something."

There was only one thing Jake could do. He got out the mouse traps. As many of you will remember, the Pohicks decided to go the non lethal route with the traps and managed to catch 10 of them before they skipped town. Jake decided that rather than starting another protracted engagement, he would have to upgrade the arsenal a little bit. He purchased glue traps and snap traps and all kinds of traps. Jake doesn't really have any particular animosity against the mice, but they have a tendency to eat Jake's favorite snacks. This is something that Jake just can't abide by. Not to mention that having Molly screaming in the kitchen on a regular basis is also enough to put ones nerves on edge. Without further ado, Jake set all of the various rodent catching contraptions and retired for the evening.

The next morning, Jake came down to the kitchen and found all of the lethal traps sprung, but with no mice to show. He wondered what had happened? Are the mice really that sneaky? There was nothing he could do but try again. Surely even the most ingenious mouse would surely slip up sooner or later. There was nothing to do but try again. Jake set the traps and went to bed. Just as he was about to drift off in a peaceful slumber, he heard a commotion in the kitchen. Rushing down he found Scribbles (Child formerly known as StarrySpark) stuck to a glue trap. Looking around he also found all of the lethal traps sprung again. "Is there something you would like to tell me Scribbles?", he asked. Scribbles, looking defiant, stated, "The mice don't know any better. We just can't kill them." "Ahhhh....Yes we can and yes we will.", Jake responded.

Tonight Jake is going to set the traps again and this time, he is going to lock Scribbles in the tower. Tune in tomorrow to see how the mice fare without outside intervention.

Mouse War Index

Don't Look Up

Why is it that ordinarily intelligent people will do things like staring up in the air to see if any big rocks are going to fall on their heads?

Pohick Band

The parade really doesn't even get started until the band marches by. By marching in the case of the Pohick Band, we actually mean rolling by on an 18 wheeler. King Jake has taken a note to either put the band on a conditioning program or inject some fresh blood into the band prior to next year's parade.