Crazy Like A Fox

No, we are not saying that Jake is crazy like a fox. Everyone knows that Jake is just plain crazy.

We have occasionally seen a fox around the neighborhood during the last couple of years. Jake has tried repeatedly to snap a picture of this fellow. Unfortunately, the fox just wouldn't stand still long enough for Jake to run into the house, grab the camera and run back outside in time to snap a picture. This could be a commentary on Jake's lack of quickness, but we prefer to think that the fox was really just a little camera shy. The photo in this blog entry was taken yesterday by Jake and Molly's neighbor Mrs Hagrid. Not only is there one Fox, but apparently there are two. This may explain the abundance of missing cats in the neighborhood as of late.

Here are a few fox facts for those who are curious:

• Most foxes live 2–3 years but can survive for up to 10 years, or longer in captivity.
  
• With most species roughly the size of a domestic cat, foxes are smaller than other members of the family Canidae, such as wolves, jackals, and domestic dogs.
• Unlike many canids, foxes are usually not pack animals.
  
• Typically, they are solitary, opportunistic feeders that hunt live prey (especially rodents).
• Using a pouncing technique practiced from an early age, they are usually able to kill their prey quickly.
  
• Foxes also gather a wide variety of other foods ranging from grasshoppers to fruit and berries.

After learning that foxes find rodents especially tasty, Jake announced that he is very much in favor of them. This is of course because of the numerous rodent problems we have had.

So, what interesting wildlife have you seen in your back yard?

Global Warming

The average high temperature in Pohick in January is 35 degrees. Yesterday, we had a high of 75 degrees. Using my high school math skills, it would appear that we have a deviation from the norm of approximately 40 degrees.

This on the surface brings to mind images of global warming, melting ice caps, dramatic shifts in global weather patterns. So, you ask, did we spend the day lamenting the end of civilization as we know it? Hmmmm... No... We instead, went hiking, enjoyed the fresh outside air and finished off the day with a barbecue. Mmmm.... barbecue.

Jake's new motto, "If a global catastrophe is coming, please let it be one we can meet in shorts and a tee shirt and not while wielding a snow shovel."

So, let's hear your 2 cents worth. Is the mild weather we are having and indication of global warming or not?

Pohick Back When - 1973

Every now and then, we dig into the Pohick picture vault and see what pops up. In this picture from 1973 we see Molly and her sisters Miss Luig, and Miss Selene.

You can't help but love the stylish clothes and hairdos the girls were sporting in this picture.

Ah, 1973 - I remember it well. Here are a few entries for 1973 from wikipedia.

• January 14 - Elvis Presley does a concert in Hawaii for over a billion people live worldwide.
• March 29 - The last United States soldiers leave Vietnam.
• April 6 - Pioneer 11 is launched on a mission to study the solar system.
• April 17 - Federal Express officially begins operations, with the launch of 14 small aircraft from Memphis International Airport. On that night, Federal Express delivers 186 packages to 25 U.S. cities from Rochester, NY, to Miami, Fla.
• May 14 - Skylab, the United States' first space station, is launched.
• June 4 - A patent for the ATM is granted to Donald Wetzel, Tom Barnes and George Chastain.
• October 6 - Yom Kippur War: The fourth and largest Arab-Israeli conflict begins, as Egyptian and Syrian forces attack Israel on Yom Kippur.
• November 27 - The United States Senate votes 92-3 to confirm Gerald Ford as Vice President of the United States.

So what big events occurred in your life in 1973?

Murphy's Law

This has been a particularly tough week. Jake only worked Wednesday through Friday, but it is amazing how much pain can be compressed into three short days. Maybe it is just the fact that very little got done during the holiday period, but it seems like everything that could go wrong did go wrong this week.

I guess we can just blame it on that Murphy fellow. According to wikipedia, the term Murphy's Law originated in 1948 at Edward's Air Force Base. During the test of a missile system, it was discovered that the electrical plug on a piece of equipment could be plugged into the system in two different ways and as a result, the test failed. One of the engineers on the system was a gentleman by the name of Murphy, and he was given credit for coining the phrase.

One of the variations of Murphy's Law is that, "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible time." A good hypothetical example of this is: Your car breaks down, it's pouring rain, and you discover that for the first time in a long time you forgot to charge your cell phone. D'oh.

Or as another hypothetical example: You have someone working for you who is in charge of a project. The project is reaching a culminating point and a big test is scheduled for Monday in another state. Sixty people and lots of equipment will be showing up for the test. On the Friday before the test, the project lead comes to your office and says, "Oh, by the way, I've taken another job and won't be going to the test on Monday." Double D'oh!!!

Well, what can you do. Murphy will be Murphy after all. We expect him to show up on occasion, but does he have to hit the ground running in the new year with such a vengeance?

Have you ever been the victim of Murphy's Law? What happened?

Dance Fever

That's Right. Look at Jake and Molly cutting the rug. Well technically, there was no rug and they weren't actually cutting anything, but they were having a good time. They were dancing at the wedding reception of Molly's brother Lancelot and his new wife Godiva. Congratulations Lance and Lady G!

Jake and Molly's daughter Scribbles being the typical teenager was not necessarily impressed with her parent's prowess on the dance floor and asked Jake and Molly to quit embarrassing her. Jake and Molly immediately acquiesced to Scribbles request. NOT! Are you kidding me?

Jake and Molly weren't actually trying to embarrass Scribbles of course, but this was certainly an added bonus to the fun that they were having. Few things in life are as much fun as embarrassing your children.

So, have you ever had your children tell you that you were embarrassing them? What did you do? Just to be fair, I'll turn the question around. Did your parents ever embarrass you, and how did they do it?

Best Year Ever

The Pohick family has decided that this is going to be the best year ever. We are determined that the entire Pohick clan is going to be healthy and happy this year. We've done everything that we can to set ourselves up for success. We each had our portion of Pork and Sauerkraut on New Year's Day for luck. This is an old tradition that we inherited from our Pennsylvania Dutch roots.

Many other cultures have similar New Year's food traditions.

• It is a Cuban tradition to eat 12 grapes at the stroke of midnight. The 12 grapes signify the last twelve months of the year.
• German folklore says that eating herring at the stroke of midnight will bring luck for the next year.
• Eating pickled herring as the first bite of the New Year brings good luck to those of Polish descent.
• In the southern United States, it is believed eating black eyed peas on New Year's eve will bring luck for the coming year.
• Also from the south comes the custom of eating greens such as cabbage, collard greens, mustard greens, kale or spinach to bring money.

We briefly considered maximizing our luck for the year by mixing up a nice pot of pork, sauerkraut, grapes, pickled herring, black eyed peas, collard greens and spinach. We finally decided though that this concoction might make us just a little too lucky. We had just planned on having a carefree and relaxing day. If we consumed our "Super Lucky Concoction" we'd probably have some guy with a super sized check and balloons standing at the door, and who needs all that drama. We'll settle for just our regular allotment of good luck and we hope that you all get your share as well.

So what special New Year's food traditions do you have in your family?

Happy New Year

Happy New Year from the Pohick family. Did you usher in the New Year in Style?

Jake is busily scribbling down his new year's resolutions. Surprisingly, they look suspiciously like last year's resolutions.

Jake's Resolutions
1. Lose weight
2. Spend less money (Yes, Kings have a budget too)
3. Learn to do something that he doesn't already know how to do. (He was considering Gourmet Cooking , but that seemed to be in conflict with resolution number 1)

So, what are your new year's resolutions? Leave us a comment and let us know what you plan to accomplish in the new year.

And the Winner Is .....

Jake was the winner of this year's "Best Christmas Decorations in Pohick" contest. Of course if you leave your Christmas lights up all year round and just keep adding to them each year, you are bound to win sooner or later. This year Jake connected the Christmas lights up to his computer using a device he purchased from Animated Lighting. The judges were obviously mesmerized as the castle morphed from color to color. Molly is not pleased with this award because she believes that Jake will just go to even further extremes in order to win first place again next year.

The King is Dead, Long Live the King

No excuses. Jake only intended to take only a short break from the rough and tumble world of blogging, but the next thing he knew it was two months later. Wow, time does indeed fly. Since things are starting to wind down at the end of the year, we should be able to begin providing our faithful readers with more regular updates. Well....more regular than every two months at least. And to all of those faithful readers who have continued to read this blog every day despite the fact that I haven't posted anything.....err....thanks. We will now return you to the regularly schedule program already in progress.

Running Girl

Yesterday, Princess Yellow Hair competed in the annual Pohick Marathon. She did an excellent job finishing the course with her fastest time yet. Jake said that he was going to run along with YH to pace her and offer encouragement, but apparently there was some sort of altercation at the snack stand that demanded his attention. Congratulations YH on her fine performance!

Japanese Embassy

During the Freedom Walk Volksmarch, our band of weary travelers took a brief respite at the Japanese Embassy.

Freedom Walk

This week, the Pohick Clan along with Scribbles' girl scout troop participated in a Volksmarch called the US Freedom Walk Festival. The weekend long event was billed as a non-competitive social walking challenge bringing participants of all ages and abilities together for fun, fitness and fellowship. Jake just called the event 12 km (7.4 miles) of joy. Actually, the only reason that Jake actually completed the walk was that Molly alternated between cajoling him and walking ahead of him with a candy bar.

Everclear

Jake was on a business trip this week. He was sitting in the hotel bar eating a sandwich. A few fellows came into the bar and sat near Jake. As the bar was mostly empty, Jake engaged these newcomers in conversation. "So, what line of business are you fellows in?", he asked. One of the fellows said, "We have a band." "Oh", Jake asked. "What is the name of your band." The fellow then replied, "Our band is named Everclear." "Cool", Jake said.

After talking with these fellows for awhile, Jake learned that Everclear was just laying over for the evening to give their bus driver a rest. "That is mighty considerate of them", Jake thought. He also learned that their next gig was in Tuscaloosa and they had three dates left on this tour. They have recently released a new album called Welcome to the Drama Club
After their next three dates, they will be heading back to their home in Portland, Oregon. After hanging out with the band, Jake asked the fellows if they would mind having their picture taken with him. They were very gracious and Jake wished them all good luck with the rest of the tour.

Your Wish is My Command

Jake's sister, the Vice-President of the dairy farmer's association was very insistent that she was not going to let Jake take her picture. She was concerned that Jake would somehow alter her image and put a funny hat on her head or dots on her face. After Jake crossed his heart and promised that he would not put any funny accessories on his favorite sister she finally relented to having her picture taken.

Pohick Trivia: I'll bet that you didn't know that the average person in Pohick drinks 23 gallons of milk per year.

Funny Farm

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. A member of the Pohick clan ended up with their very own padded room. Of course everyone always assumed that it would be Jake. Who would have guessed that mild mannered Squeaky would end up being the one on the inside looking out.

This must have had something to do with that wild and crazy Pohick High School class of 1961 reunion.

Happy Birthday Little Dairy Farmer

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday Little Dairy Farmer
Happy Birthday to You

This week, we celebrated the birthday of the littlest member of the Pohick Dairy Farmer's Association. In keeping with tradition, the birthday boy was allowed to go crazy with his birthday cake.

The party was a great success and would have been perfect if not for a small incident involving Jake. What happened you ask? Well, we really don't wan't to rehash the gruesome details. Let's just say that while aggressively eating your cake with both hands while rubbing it on your face and in your hair is cute with a one year old, it loses some of it's appeal with a 40 year old.

I Scream You Scream

After a recent band event at the Pohick Royal Academy of Technology and Science, the band boosters provided the students with a little ice cream.

One scoop, two scoops, three scoops, four

Eat some ice cream and ask for more

Hot fudge, peanuts, whip cream too

Ice cream comes from critters that moo

Jake who attended the event refrained from confiscating any of Princess Scribbles' Ice Cream or to use the Pohick Vernacular he refrained from imposing a Ice Cream Tax. Of course while the band was performing, Jake sampled a large variety of band festival food to include nachos and cheese, pretzels, pop corn and a lovely pulled pork BBQ sandwich.

Bench Warrant

A bench warrant was issued today for several members of the Pohick clan. Molly and Yellow Hair finally got down to the business of finishing a bench that Molly received for her birthday from Squeaky about a year ago.

Molly went to the local home supply store to purchase some stain. Apparently she really likes the particular shade she purchased, because when she returned home she realized that she had a entire case of the exact same color and brand already sitting in the garage. Oh Well, I guess you can't have too much of a good thing. Jake is now afraid though that everything in the castle will soon be a lovely shade of Polyshades Natural Cherry Gloss from Minwax.

Molly and Yellow Hair did a fine job on the bench. Jake especially liked the fact that he was not asked to participate in this project. There is a very slight chance that the only reason he was not asked to participate was that he was nowhere to be found. His story is that he didn't realize that there was work to be done. A likely story.

Hunchback of Notre Dame

Poor Scribbles! She has a long term English literature project due in a couple of weeks at the Pohick Royal Academy of Technology and Science (PRATS). She was asked to select a classic book for her literature class. After she reads the book, she will be required to put together a number of in-depth projects that analyze and demonstrate the various themes of the book.

Scribbles selected the Hunchback of Notre Dameas her classic book. Jake asked her, "Why did you select that book?" Scribbles answered, "Because I've already seen the movie." Jake asked, "Which version of movie are you referring to?" Scribbles starred for a moment and then asked, "You mean there is more than one? I've seen the Hunchback of Notre Dame Disney Animated Classic."
Jake who is unarguably not the most learned man in the kingdom still knew that Scribbles had made an ill informed decision. Unlike the Disney Movie where everyone gets to live happily ever after, the classic book ensures that everyone suffers tremendously and then meets an untimely demise. As if that weren't bad enough, the book doesn't even come right out and say that. It forces the reader to suffer through page after page of arcane and inarticulate speech. Here is an example:

"'Tis you who are in error," replied the archdeacon, gravely. "Daedalus is the base; Orpheus is the wall; Hermes is the edifice,--that is all. You shall come when you will," he continued, turning to Tourangeau, "I will show you the little parcels of gold which remained at the bottom of Nicholas Flamel's alembic, and you shall compare them with the gold of Guillaume de Paris. ~Abbas beati Martini, SCILICET REX FRANCIAE, est canonicus de consuetudine et habet parvam proebendam quam habet sanctus Venantius, et debet sedere in sede thesaurarii~.

And yes, that is the English translation of the book. Jake doesn't really have any idea what the writer was trying to get across with that passage. Unfortunately, Scribbles who is usually quite the voracious reader, can't seem to get through more than a few pages without slipping into a narcoleptic slumber.

Jake's tip(s) of the Day:

1) Need a classic book for English Literature Class? - Don't base your selection on a Disney Movie.
2) Need a spiritual pick-me-up? - Don't pick the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
3) Need a sleeping pill substitute? - You can try reading the hunchback if you like. It will definitely knock you out. Hitting yourself on the head with a hammer will be less painful in the long run though.

Dirty Dozen

Jake was sound asleep and having that fantastic dream that he has all the time. Yep, you guessed it. It was the one where Jake is at an all-you-can-eat buffet and no matter how much he eats, he never gets stuffed. Just as Jake was heading back to the buffet for 15ths, he was awoken from his slumber by a persistent thumping on his chest.

Molly had apparently gotten up early and gone down to the kitchen. Upon inspecting the mouse traps, she discovered that one of the rodents (Number Twelve) had gotten himself ensnared. Feeling particularly brave, she transferred the critter into the mobile mouse detainment and transport mechanism all by herself and took it upstairs to show Jake. As Jake opened his bleary, sleep encrusted eyes, he was face to face with a mouse.

Molly said, "Now that I've done the hard part, you need to transport him far from the castle. Don't even think about letting him loose less than two miles from the castle."

Jake decided to enlist some help since he was going to have to hike so far. He talked Princess Yellow Hair into going with him. Princess Yellow Hair was starting to get cabin fever anyway since she had been locked away in the tower for the last week suffering from her second case of chickenpox. Jake figured that a little fresh air would do her some good.

Yellow Hair, who was obviously feeling a little cantankerous after her week of solitary confinement suggested just letting the mouse loose at one of the neighbor's castles. Jake thought about this idea, but quickly decided that this would not be the right thing to do and he so informed Yellow Hair. Besides he thought to himself, someone might see them and let Molly know. It was with a certain amount of pride though that he considered the scheme that Yellow Hair had come up with. "She takes after her dear old dad", he thought.

In any event, they not only transported the mouse far from the castle, but they also crossed several streams just to ensure that number twelve had no chance of finding his way back to the castle. Mouse War Index.