Sunday, May 14, 2006

Mother's Day Pohick Style

Yes, even in the Kingdom of Pohick, today was mother's day. King Jake vehemently proclaimed that Queen Molly was not his mother to no avail. Queen Molly had been dropping subtle little hints (not especially subtle) for the last three weeks that she wanted a Venti Green Tea Frappuccino from Starbucks as part of her Mother's Day breakfast in bed. Jake who is slow but not stupid decided that acquiescence was infinitely easier than resistance. He told the girls that he would drive them to the Starbucks so that they could buy their mother a frappuchino.

Of course he couldn't help but remember the year that Molly facilitated the girls as they prepared him a snow cone for his Father's Day breakfast in bed. Not that Jake doesn't love snow cones (Jake loves all food), but eating a snow cone immediately upon waking is just a little rough. Anyway, back to the story at hand.

Jake was awakened this morning by Princess Yellow Hair who was to accompany Jake to the Starbucks. She was assigned this task because she had been to the Starbucks previously with Molly. Jake stumbled down to the garage, got in the car and he and Yellow Hair were off on their quest. Jake drove in the general direction of the Starbucks for about 15 minutes when he asked Yellow Hair, "Are we going in the right direction?" Yellow Hair responded with, "I don't have any idea where we are going. I thought you knew the way." Jake then said, "But..... you've been there before." Yellow Hair said, "Yes, but I didn't pay attention to where we were going." Jake then asked, "Do you remember a street name or other stores or landmarks or anything?" Yellow Hair said, "No." Jake, "Grrrrrrrrrrr. "

Because it was early in the morning and supposed to just be a quick trip to the coffee shop, Jake didn't bother bringing his cell phone along. Jake stated, "Maybe we can find a pay phone and ask Molly for directions?" Yellow Hair said, "We can't do that! It will ruin the surprise." Jake said, "Surprise? What surprise? Your mother has told us every day for the last three weeks that she gets a Frappuccino or there's going to be trouble." Yellow Hair countered with, "Can't you just stop and ask for directions?" "Ummmmm...No", Jake said. "It doesn't work that way. Men aren't allowed to ask for directions." Thus started a two hour quest in which King Jake drove up and down every street in the Kingdom of Pohick looking for a Starbucks.

At last victory. They found a Starbucks. Yellow Hair said, "This isn't the same one." At any rate, they returned to the castle with their treasure in hand for presentation to Queen Molly. Molly said, "Did it really take you two hours to go to the Starbucks on the next block?" Jake, "errrrr, Yes...I mean No...I mean...we heard that the other one in the next county made better Frappuccinos and we wanted you to have the very best that was available." Ahhh, that Jake. Always thinking quick on his feet.

At any rate, Queen Molly received and enjoyed her Venti Green Tea Frappuccino along with the other tokens of appreciation from the Pohick Princesses. So until next year, "Happy Mother's Day!"


sweatpantsmom said...

Ahhh...Starbucks. A drink fit for a Queen. I asked for, and got a Starbucks gift card (nestled next to my new iPod!)

Anonymous said...

I have earned some lessons learned that I could share with you Jake. This is kind of like the Female conference that goes on in the bathrooms the world over, only not as high in the security classification of said conferences. A couple years ago I remember my queen eyeing up and making positive comments about a particular exercise bike in Sears. It had a price tag on it; I nodded as a good listening King and said ah ha! As I tried to remember the balance of the treasury and the other ministry requirements. Really didn’t think too much about it until it got close to Mother’s Day. Well to be more accurate, with all the distractions of ruling a kingdom as you know the mind was a bit preoccupied and one thing lead to another the next day was the big day. Plenty of time to figure something out, racking the brain for a surprising gift, flowers? No too late, nursery is closed. Wal-mart flowers? No I’ll get hit with them, Wal-mart shoppers know what the $3.oo mini rose bouquet looks like I could not even begin to rationalize that one. I could see myself at the Doc’s getting the long stems retracted from my nostrils. My heart started racing as I was about to go into a panic and it hit me. The exercise bike she was fussing over in Sears, it’s right down the block I have the seat out of the Mini-Van, yes Mini-Van I’m proud to say that I’m comfortable with who I am, don’t need a truck and a six pack, yet, until she tells me I need one. Back on task, I got all excited ran down to Sears whipped out the plastic and I had one of the best presents in a long time for the mother of my children. You should have see the surprise on her face when she woke up that morning, flush cheeks, eyes wide open in amazement she could barely speak. Without saying a word she pointed with arm extending, I looked to see what she was gesturing, I though she wanted it beside the back door, I said I could move it and the words start to come audible. What in the heck is this? Spittle began to run from the corner of her mouth not yet foaming like Kujo yet. Its mother’s day and you buy me exercise equipment! Are you out of your mind? As panic began to hit me as I saw my life flying by kind of like being at a NASCAR race with out the beer. Then she dropped the bomb that I carelessly failed to realize in my hastened risk analysis of the procurement. Are you telling me that I need to exercise? A few feeble attempts of utterances making no sense even to me… another salvo came, the 16 inchers… are you saying I’m fat? Oh lord! I rushed to towards the back door not even grabbing the throw from the back of the chair. Into the back yard into the dog house, man’s best friend ha! They have good ears and they understand dog house. He left the doghouse and hid behind the tree as if he didn’t know me. Wow! Never again did I ever make that mistake, lesson learned don’t get them exercise equipment for mothers day even if they fuss over it. That is a Saturday trip and still could play into their favor for a later argument of the previous position. Just in case she’s reading this blog too, I was really joshing. I figured that if I shocked her that bad whatever future mother’s day gifts would be that much sweeter. Do you think she’s buying it? The next year I got her a really nice fishing rod. I didn’t even get in trouble. See how that works. I ask her to borrow it all the time. I really wished she liked to fish, we could be spending more time together fishing.

Mama Kelly said...

glad you got your frap ... how sweet they went to the effort