Thursday, May 11, 2006

Royal Weight Loss

Apparently, King Jake has consumed one too many Hershey's Candy Bars. Here is a transcript from King Jake's recent visit to the royal health care provider.

Royal Doctor: Your majesty, you are getting too fat.

King Jake: Hmmmm.... I would normally have you executed for saying that except we don't do that sort of thing in this kingdom.

Royal Doctor: Your weight is reaching an unhealthy level. You weigh 189 lbs. You are 5 foot 9 inches and you should weigh about 160 lbs.

King Jake: 160 lbs? King's aren't supposed to be that skinny. What would the citizens think if their king was only 160 lbs? Nobody wants a skinny king.

Royal Doctor: I'm sorry, but your weight is not healthy. Are you getting enough exercise?

King Jake: Of course I am. I cut the grass, chase mice around the castle, and carry the captured mice way out into the middle of nowhere.

Royal Doctor: I'm sorry, but that is not working. You must eat less and exercise more.

King Jake: I'm not going to do it. I have a lot of very important meetings with the kingdom's ministers. I don't have time to exercise and there are always pastries at the meetings.

Queen Molly: Don't worry doctor. I will ensure that Jake does what you say.

King Jake: (grumbles under his breath)

Tune in on a regular basis to see if Jake manages to reduce his weight from 189 lbs down to 160 lbs. I'm sure there will be some entertainment associated with Jake's endeavor to lose 29 lbs.

2 comments:

Lostcheerio said...

All this "eat less exercise more" fanaticism is so overblown. Sounds like a cult to me. ;)

Anonymous said...

I’m surprised that you didn’t put the royal doctor into a Jar and take him to the limits of the kingdom and excommunicate him. To talk about the royal ponch like that. If your too skinny the kingdom will start to get worried that the food is running out. I thought that you said that you only cut your grass once this year so far? Family 2.0 is not getting it done either unless you are increasing you stamina on the finger flutter kick. I hear that there are some good virtual gyms on the net but I think that is for the mind. You can become a virtual Olympian but that’s only games, eye finger coordination and surfing cheat sites to win gold medals. Sorry that does not burn the fat like you need. I’m not sure how much an ego weighs you can try to lose that and see how much. You could fire the royal cook and make it your darn self. I hate that menu personally and I hate it even more when the next day you ask what’s for dinner and you get the leftovers reply and you say wait a minute we had get it your darn self last night, exactly. My advice, eat less and exercise more and you ought to be fine. Running is a good way to trim down too. Good luck.