Monday, March 17, 2008

Cooking for Dummies

OK, for the record, Scribbles is a very smart young woman. She is intelligent, a straight A student, a talented musician, nice to old people and small children, etc. But to be just a bit candid, she is a menace in the kitchen.

Oh yes, I can hear the responses from my loyal readers now. Probably some accusation that this is just another embellished yarn from the old Jakester. But lest you doubt me, let me tell you of tonight's ordeal. Jake, Sarah and Scribbles being left to their own devices decided to prepare a small repast. Nothing too elaborate mind you. Just some hot dogs and mashed potatoes. (Yes, I know that is an odd combination, but it is Saint Patrick's Day after all.) As Jake and Sarah set about preparing the frankfurters, Scribbles was assigned the task of preparing the mashed potatoes. Did I mention that they were instant mashed potatoes? Jake figured that there was no way that an honor student could possibly mess up cooking instant mashed potatoes. But alas gentle readers, it is indeed possible. Apparently if you add the mashed potatoes prior to bringing the water to a boil, the potatoes can actually explode in volcano-like fashion out of the pot. Who knew? Well, that is one lesson we chalked up to the school of hard knocks as we began to wash mashed potatoes off of the stove, walls, floor, counters, windows, and ceiling.

Now, Scribbles' lack of culinary competence wouldn't ordinarily be cause for concern, but she is starting to receive applications for college. Jake is actually a little afraid that the poor girl will either starve to death or will in some fit of hunger induced desperation burn down her apartment building. Jake figures that there are three options: 1) teach Scribbles to cook, 2) send her armed with the book Cooking For Dummies, or 3) Just get her a meal plan at the school's dining facility. Hmmmmm.... Yep, it does indeed seem prudent to get her the meal plan. In the mean time however, we will continue to work with her on the cooking basics. Wish us luck! And keep the fire extinguisher handy!

No comments: