Sunday, April 30, 2006

Inside Looking Out

Meanwhile in the guinea pig cage....

I think they are on to us. Those stupid mice messed everything up. We are going to have to shut down the operation.

Lightning: Relax Sister. Everything is going according to plan. These humans don't even know that we can understand every word that they say. If they did, do you think that they would talk in front of us the way that they do?

Thunder: But what if those mice squealed... I mean squeaked?

Lightning: I'm not worried about those mice. Wave a little peanut butter in front of their noses and they mindlessly climb into mouse traps. As long as these humans keep feeding us, we will have all the time in the world to accomplish what we set out to accomplish. Just remember to act cute and cuddly.


Anonymous said...

Hey! Don’t forget about the squealing, they like that kind of stuff. They think you are happy eating out the palm of their hands. It’s kind of like paying rent for your Guinea Pig welfare. That makes them subservient puppets and the humans are the puppet masters.

Empress Baggie said...

Dear King Jake,

Empress Baggie, Queen of The World here. Please, there's no need to bow. You may rise now. Really, as you were. Get up, already!

Incredibly entertaining stuff you've got here. Her Majesty found herself laughing hysterically, especially at the mouse escapades. This is especially important to The Empress as one of those filthy little critters decided to terrorize the Royal Office yesterday, making his presence known to all as he tried to find his way out of there. Apparently he knew he was not where he normally resides and was going to do whatever it took to get back home.

By the way, since we didn't have any peanut butter on hand but did have Reeses Pieces, the Royal Exterminator advised that they work just as well. And he was right. Our little alien visitor went right for the candies strategically placed in the middle of a glue trap. End of problem.

Love the guinea pigs!

Very truly yours,

P.S. Please join us for tea at 2.