Saturday, April 29, 2006

National Junior Honor Society

Like most parents, Jake and Molly spend a lot of time running the kids between all of their various and assorted activities. Sometimes there are overlapping events, in which case Jake and Molly are forced to divide and concur. On one such occasion, Molly was taking Yellow Hair to one event and Jake was tasked with taking StarrySpark to another in which she would be inducted into the National Junior Honor Society. For most people, escorting their child to a ceremony recognizing an achievement is a joyous occasion. As is often stated though, Jake is not like most people. As difficult as this may be to believe, Jake had never been anywhere near any type of Academic Honor Society before. Despite Molly's best efforts to put his mind at ease, Jake was convinced that there was going to be some type of entrance exam just to get into the ceremony. His mind was filled with a vision of being asked a question like, "What is the hypotenuse of an algorithm?" Then poor Jake would be left standing outside while all of the smart parents were allowed to enter. Finally, Molly had had enough of Jake's silliness and convinced him that he had to take one for the team. When Jake and StarrySpark got to the school, Jake was ready for a rumble. His Spidey Sense was tingling. OK Jake, put on your game face. Walk through the door. Don't make eye contact. So far so good. No one tried to stop you at the entrance. Quickly find a seat and sit down. Don't make eye contact. Pick a seat close to the exit in case a mob of slide rule totting academics come after you. Don't make eye contact. Well, that wasn't so bad. No one asked you any hard questions and you have a seat close to the exit. I think you are home free. Just then a women walked up and asked Jake, "Is that seat next to you taken." Jake momentarily considered saying, "Yes, I'm saving it for my wife.", but instead he said, "No........., you can have it." The woman then sat down. No problem Jake, just breath normally and don't make eye contact. The woman waited at least a full 20 seconds before she said, "I don't think these things have changed much since I was in the Honor Society." The voice in Jakes brain screams,"Ahhhhhhhh", I knew this was going to happen. Jake then replied to the woman, "Ya........, me too." Fortunately the woman didn't question Jake's academic creditials or challenge him with the honor society secret handshake. Unfortunately, she instead wanted to talk about how brilliant her child was. Thus started a 20 minute discussion about who's child was smarter. My child is working three grade levels ahead of most children his age. My child is taking honors courses. and my child is in band. Ya, well my child plays two instruments. And my child was reading before they were in kindergarten. Well, my child has a Phd from Harvard. Luckily the ceremony started before Jake had to explain the hypotenuse of an algorithm. In the end, the ceremony was very nice. StarrySpark received her certificate. Jake congratulated her on her commendable academic achievement and quickly ushered StarrySpark out of the building while periodically looking over his shoulder for any indication that a person or persons carrying a slide rule might be following.

PS. Sarah Ray was also inducted into NJHS. Click here to see her induction photo and story.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Congratulation StarrySparks! You may someday want to test your DNA against Jake’s. You will be able to break it down and map it out and Jake will still be trying to spell check it D-N-A. I bet Jake feels ten times smarter now and proud as all get out. You can do anything you put your mind too. You should be proud of your accomplishment, I’m sure proud of you, Great Job!